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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Dog Blog Late-Night Confession Time

Before 1 August 2012, I saw and met dogs everywhere. Whether I poked around Shadyside shops or went to farmers' markets in Pennsylvania's Amish enclaves, dogs pranced, napped, yipped, barked, and wagged. Before 1 August 2012, my life was awash with pooches; it was a walkers and cookies and smooches all the time. And, because I saw so dang-many dogs, I thought: "I will start a dog blog. And I will chronicle all of these dogs. And people will read it and like it, and that will be nice."

And you know what else I did? I bought little calling cards, with this blog address printed on them, along with pertinent contact information and doggie little graphics. I thought: "This will give my project a sense of distinction, and it will make me seem less crazy--a cute, non-threatening type of crazy, if anything--when I approach strangers and ask them for a pooch interview and picture taking session."

What a fool I was. Because other than the 2 dogs profiled this far--and one of them is my dog, so it's almost like she doesn't count, as if she is a tiny shill or a very small paid participant (in bacon-cheese cookies)--I haven't seen one other damn dog. I'm sorry to swear; I'm bitter. I've only given out 1 card. It is now the 21st of August. I have 249 more of those things. Whatever.

In my very first post, I mentioned the movie The Big Year as a point of inspiration. Though I would like to be the Owen Wilson character, who sees all the birds (in his case), I am instead the Jack Black character, the one who sees no birds at the beginning of the movie, and then sees a bunch of birds at the end of the movie (again, that movie was about birds; this blog is about dogs; I'm on a lot of antibiotics, it's 2 AM, and my I have tonsillitis. Join me on this derailed train of thought!). Also, the Jack Black character gets to be boyfriend and girlfriend with the Rashida Jones character, so there's that. Also, I like Tenacious D a whole bunch, so I guess I'm okay being Jack Black in this metaphor, but pretty and also a girl, and me.

The point is that I have no dogs to share because the universe conspired (perhaps with one or all members of the Baha Men--this is my current theory) to reverse the effects of 25 July 2000 and pull the dogs back in. Admittedly, they have been out for 12 years, no one's ever been able to determine who let them out, and some of them were likely malnourished and turning feral.

I have gone out of my way to find dogs in these past 20+ days. I have little cards (to seem less crazy), and I am okay with being a me-version of Jack Black (with good hair and a kind word for all and excellent taste in accessories). I just want to see some dogs, share some stories, and learn about people and pooches. Is that too much to ask, universe? Don't you want me to meet all the dogs? Or just some of the dogs? Or more dogs than the nice one I saw at the gas station and the one I own?

So, that's where I am. Maybe I have to rethink my strategy on this one. But, I just hope that the next time I enter a post, it's full of pooch profiles and not whiny late-night, antibiotic-crazed rumblings.





1 comment:

  1. First, they know who let the dogs out. It's well documented on this thing called Wikipedia. I say we place most of the blame on A-Rod though.

    Second, it's been way too dang hot for dogs to just be out and about. It's not your fault.

    Your snowy owl is out there. Trust me.